07 March 2007

pizza lovers

My roommate Geoff and I like pizza. A lot.

If our arteries were sliced open, they'd extrude mozzarella. Although we're vegetarians, we're not exactly paragons of healthful eating. So, of course, we were both game to try an exaggeration of our favorite cuisine: the pizza lover's pizza. (This was G's brainchild. I was just the one who giddily clapped my hands in validation of the idea.)

After months of enjoying regular old pizzas, we finally made a pizza lover's pizza last night. (Fittingly, right before G will embark on a 10-day master cleanse, which I bet him a bag of peanut butter M&Ms that he couldn't make it 10 days.) I say "made" but really it was heating up a DiJourno cheese pizza and heating up some Totino's pizza rolls. Then smooshing said rolls into the cheesy goodness of the pizza. Voila: pizza lover's pizza.

I'd be lying if I said there wasn't tension in the air—anticipation, dread...hunger. Tension that could only be abated with a roll of the pizza cutter, blessed of all kitchen utensils.

With one bite (each), it was over. We deflated the mystery, and we can't say it was delicious.

DiJourno pizza is divine in it's own right, when you're craving an overprocessed—but earnest—pizza. And Totino's pizza rolls are divine in their own right, when it's 3 a.m. at the gas station and you're so drunk and hungry and there's nothing else. It just tasted blasphemous to combine these two entities for our personal amusement.

Defeated, we plucked the pizza rolls off the pizza and ate each separately, as God would have wanted.


Lindy Loo said...

Ha ha ha. You're so weird.

You may be interested in my friend Lyndsey's master cleanse journal, in lieu (sp?) of your own upcoming adventures.


You MUST MUST MUST blog about the experience. MUST.

(I've been considering doing the cleanse myself, but given the fact that I'm on the go like 47 hours of the day, I figure now's probably not a good time as I needs me my energy.)

Lisa said...

it's geoff, not me who's cleansing. but i'll refer him to her blog. i knew she was a master cleanser.

Anonymous said...

you should have written G-d.

Katherine said...


Lindy Loo said...

D'oh. Sorry. Misread.

(And I wasn't sure if you read her livejournal or not. My bad.)

lms said...

I had a dream about your pizza the other night. And I have to say, for as yucky as it sounded, it sure looks pretty!

peppermintlisa said...

everytime i look at this photo, it makes me want to gag.

theodore said...

thats nothing compared to what ryan and i put together. i mean, you only had one kind of cheese! and it wasn't even real!

part-time buddha said...

I'm thinking the problem here is in your choice of pizza roll. I'll bet that if you use the Totino's {Mini Pizza-Rolls it would taste a lot better.

Terra said...

Wow! I read that dorklepork journal of her master cleanse and actually think I want to do it. My mom does it every year and I think she's crazy (I also go eat a huge Mexican mean in her honor). I might think about doing it... maybe later.