11 January 2007


I'm missing a lot of spoons.

I don't know exactly how this happened. I'm not reckless with my silverware. I don't take it to work (I keep mismatched silverware at work). And I don't leave them on plates that I've pushed under the couch or bed after a meal. (Like a former boyfriend of mine used to.)

Since Leslie moved out, taking her matching silverware with her, it appears as if my collection of spoons has dwindled. I doubt they disappeared in the last two years. It's likely they disappeared by way of my ex-roommate, "the borrower." When the situation grew desperate with her "borrowing" ways, I staged a liberation of my possessions from her room, unearthing a multitude of curiosities. Including crusted over cereal bowls—my bowls. Socks—my socks. And a moldy yam—not mine.

Possessions of mine I never saw again: a few shirts, a mixing bowl, some CDs, a towel, some tupperware and a cookie cooling rack. This is all I can think of. So it's hardly unlikely some spoons weren't in the pfilered potpurri.

It leaves me with a silverware dilemna. I thought I could make it through my twenties with thrift-store utensils...but I don't know if I'm strong enough. This would mean doing the dishes every two or three days. Then there's my visions of holding swank dinner parties.* The classiness diminishes a lot when a mix of ice tea spoons and children's spoons help make up the place settings.

Somehow purchasing a real set of silverware would connote my submission to adulthood more than buying a $1,000 couch—which I did this year. It feels more responsible than deciding, 'you know, I think I need to put more of my paycheck into my retirement plan.'

I can't say I'm not wont to fondle the brushed nickel handles of utensils lining the shelves of Target or Crate & Barrel. But am I ready to [wait for it......] stick a fork in my mismatched youth?

* I may need to work on the actual content of the dinner part of the party, though, considering the last time I had a friend over for dinner I served him spinach, mashed potatoes and orange juice. And fudge. Classy.


Leslie said...

Oh, come on, you didn't even list "the borrower's" coup de grĂ¢ce!!!

i've got some extra spoons if you'd like to borrow some. i'm using "the camping flatware" - ie my father's bachelorhood set that used to be our spare camping set. the spoons are tapered, because i'm funny like that about spoons...

SnogAsh said...

I think you're ready to take the plunge. before doing so, let me know as my friend works at crate & barrel and gets a discount. also, a $1,000 couch? my uncomfortable futon bites its thumb at you.

part-time buddha said...

Hah! I have neither couch nor futon! My over-exposed floor cries a plague on both your houses!

And this "I can't say I'm not wont to fondle the brushed nickel handles of utensils lining the shelves of Target or Crate & Barrel" is a strangely wonderful sentence. Something about all those l's...