30 August 2005

the happiest

I can't say whether I think Disney World is the happiest place on earth. I have never been there. I did go to the original—Disney Land—when I was five. And I recall being pretty damn happy to be there.

me and chip-n-dale 1985

Don't I look happy here with Chip'n'Dale. Don't they look. . .like. . .they're fondling me?
No? Think Disney World is all wholesome family fun? Go behind the scenes a little, or rather underground in the tunnels costumed employees use and hang out in. While the author perhaps exaggerates the seamy side of the "Wild Kingdom," it's still amusing and gratifying—in that catching a goody-two-shoes doing wrong sort of way—to imagine Winnie the Pooh on acid.

But by most accounts, Disney World really does a good job of appearing perfectly chaste and perky. In college I interviewed a few students who "interned" there. Like the above writer, I secretly hoped to divulge an uglier side of Disney World. I got nothing outwardly incriminating. However, I did find Disney's mandates toward conformity and pleasing the "guest" by any means possible covertly ugly. The students raved about the experience even if their jobs were picking up litter and serving ice cream for minimum wage, which seems suspicious as well. Does Disney do such a good job at promoting happiness among its guests that employees can't help but give in?

Perhaps someone will send me on special assignment to find out. For the right price, I could be an undercover Snow White. Then I could get Chip 'n' Dale back for gettin' so fresh with me; I'll knee 'em in the, ha, nuts.

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