If I were a superhero, I would be SUPER SPINSTER.
When singletons at family functions start to get assaulted with: "when are you getting married?" and "aren't you lonely?", SUPER SPINSTER will be there. I will reach into my sleeve to retrieve a tissue for the victim and sic my brood of 20 cats on the offenders. We would escape by both our wits and the giant rope I knitted; we would seek solace in the library.